Big Bad Buddy

I think that I have gotten a bad rapt for being belligerent, when all I am really being is honest.  Honest people are always accused of being negative, glass half empty types.  But, if I was really being negative, I could have mentioned the chip in the bottom of the glass or the watery streaks.  I notice everything; I mean everything.  Like the other day, mommy lifted up her leg and let out this big explosion, when she thought she was alone in the room.  I guess the dog doesn’t count, huh? And they say that dog farts smell.  Whew that was nasty!!!  I don’t know what they’ve been feeding her, but yuck!  At least she had the nerve to look sheepishly over at me, before she made sure daddy wasn’t around and went back to what she was doing.  This was out of the usual for her, so I started to watch more carefully.  Something is rotten in the Bay Area; literally. 

A few days went by and I heard a piercing shriek coming from above me.  At first, I thought she was being killed, so I ran upstairs, to her bathroom, where I saw her standing there, perfectly in tact and not at all ripped to shreds.  I realized it had been one of her happy squeals; they sound very similar.  She was standing there, beaming, and you can probably guess, but I’ll tell you what she said, “Buddybabylove, mommy’s going to have a new little brother or sister for you!  Mommy’s going to have a baby, my buddybabylove!”  And she proceeded to “buddybabylove” me for a full minute, before she realized that she needed to call daddy and then everyone else she knows in universe.  This should be an interesting ride…